How to tell if your neighbour is a supervillain

Do you have a nasty neighbour? Do they steal your toys, shout at you and take great delight in ruining your day?

If so, your neighbour could be… a supervillain!

But how to find out for sure? The following tips should help you discover whether your neighbour is a genuine supervillain or just a grumpy old person.

1. Listen carefully to your neighbour’s laugh. Normal people make a sound such as ‘Ha Ha’ or ‘Tee Hee’. Supervillains sound something like this: “BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!“
2. Do they get incredibly annoyed at little things? If their newspaper was late in being delivered, a normal person might phone the paper shop. A supervillain would kidnap the paperboy and blow up the paper shop, or at the very least boobytrap their letterbox. .
3. Do they wear a labcoat? Perhaps they’ve got a perfectly innocent hobby, or just wear it for cooking dinner. Chances are, though, that your neighbour sporting a labcoat around the house means that you’re living next to a mad scientist. Watch out for power surges and strange noises in the middle of the night.
4. Do they have advanced technology? A normal neighbour might have lawnmowers, vacuum cleaners, and maybe some voice activated lights if they’re pushing the boat out. A supervillain would have robot slaves, a rocketship in the garage, and motion sensors on the front lawn.

If your neighbour falls into more than one of these categories, there’s a very good chance that they’re a supervillain. Clear your diary as there’s a strong possibility you’ll be getting kidnapped, brainwashed, or turned into something unpleasant.

Good luck!